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My Chinese husband

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Peyton White, Oct 18, 2017.

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  1. Peyton White

    Peyton White Member

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    I've been having trouble sorting something out and I hope you can help me with it.

    My husband's Chinese and traditionally, they want their wives to work in their own business. They have a hardware store nearby and my sister-in-law works there too. I've always been independent and I would like to find work on my own. I also am interested in selling clothes and other stuff, not work in a hardware store.

    This problem is taking a toll on our marriage. Things like this are serious for them. What can I do? Any advice, please?
     
  2. djbaxter

    djbaxter Administrator Moderator Member

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    Time to seek the services of a marriage and relationships counselor, it seems to me, one who is familiar with the cultural issues affecting both your marriage and your personal ambitions.
     
    Dr.Smith and VirtualGlobalPhone like this.
  3. Edvin

    Edvin MVP Member Top Contributor

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    There was a time that I started online affiliate marketing for a tax industry, and my wife did not want to have anything to do with it. I would stay up burning the mid-night oil working on my site, adding analytics, etc.
    First year of the tax season I lost about $2000. However, in second tax season I made $10,000 in the first month.
    At that point my wife took real interest in optimizing the campaign and helping us maximize our efforts.

    So, if you could burn the mid-night oil to generate revenue in your area interest (i.e. dropshiping or selling on amazon, ebay, etc), you may find that he will want you to work on the other revenue stream. But, like me you would have to work late and start making some money before you get some attention.

    BTW, this doesn't mean that this will work for you, and I'm certain that you recognize the importance of what djbaxter mentioned.
     
  4. Morethan

    Morethan Member

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    Sorry to hear it's taking a toll on your marriage, Peyton! Is this something you've discussed with your husband? Hopefully, he's interested in helping you meet your aspirations. If he is, he'd be able to see you have some dreams of your own.

    Sometimes, people also need to see before they believe in your dream. You could trying starting the business you're really interested in, as a side job and as it picks up and your family sees, maybe they'll be interested in growing it with you.
     
  5. Peyton White

    Peyton White Member

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    Thank you for the great advice. I guess it's true, I may have to prove to my husband that my venture would be successful. And yes, I've been thinking of seeking help from a therapist to guide us in fixing these issues. I tried checking out this site and I'm thinking of inviting my husband to try online therapy first. I agree, counseling is necessary.
     
    djbaxter likes this.
  6. Dr.Smith

    Dr.Smith Member

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    I agree dear. I would def get help from a marriage counselor. I think in such sensitive matters..the best way would be to get a professional opinion from someone who is professionally neutral.
     
  7. Barbara Arthur

    Barbara Arthur Member

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    Well, I would try to help out in the hardware first, then work on my own thing too. I think you should talk to your husband about it.
     
    Dr.Smith likes this.
  8. Dr.Smith

    Dr.Smith Member

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    please let us know how it goes. I hope nothing but the best for you. I can relate because my partner and i are from different cultures as well.
     
  9. Gin

    Gin Member

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    I agree with Barbara. Offer to work part-time in the hardware store like inventory or stocking shelves if necessary and use your earnings toward 'building' a business in your area of interest. There are affiliate sites that offer selling clothes, bags or shoes, etc., similar to using Avon or Tupperware sales techniques. Do your research online to find your area of interest as there are tonnes of information sites, bookmark sites of interest, visit, read, research, and decide upon one or two. Practice real good time management too, btw. Good luck!
     
    djbaxter likes this.
  10. Jessica A.

    Jessica A. Member

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    Hi Peyton. I'm sorry to hear that you're having these issues with your husband. Chinese are known to be business people. It's very seldom that you will encounter a Chinese that holds a regular job and working for somebody else. Young Chinese children are often told by their parents time and time again to have their own businesses instead of being a regular employee which is why anyone can find a Chinese store/street/block anywhere in the world. They highly value money and will do anything just to save one cent. Since you love selling, show your husband what you got by working in his hardware store and also selling your own stuff. In the end, he will know what really matters to you and what makes you happy. It might also be good to try therapy though. Communication and compromise is the key to any relationship. It will all work out in the end.
     

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